Breaking the 'Not Good Enough' Mindset: How to Build Confidence in Surfing & Life

If I’m being honest…

Learning to surf can be deeply humbling. Whether you’re standing on the shoreline with a board twice your size or wiping out in front of more experienced surfers, it’s easy for self-doubt to sneak in. That little voice whispering, "I’m not good enough" doesn’t just show up in the water, it follows us into our careers, relationships, and creative pursuits too.

But here’s the truth… confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build choice by choice. And surfing, raw, unpredictable, and full of lessons, is one of the best teachers around.

The Inner Critic: Where It Starts

Many of us carry the weight of comparison. Social media can make it seem like everyone else is progressing faster, looking cooler, or living their best surf life without fear. But what we often don’t see are the awkward wipeouts, the tears of frustration, the endless paddling just to catch one wave. The ‘not good enough’ mindset thrives in silence and when we don’t speak about it, it grows. Surfing puts us face-to-face with our expectations and invites us to meet them with compassion.

Embracing the Beginner's Mind

Confidence grows when we stop pretending we need to be further along. In surf, like in life, we’re always learning. When you approach each session with curiosity rather than judgment, you create space for growth. Falling off a wave doesn’t mean you’ve failed, no no no. It means you’re in the arena. You’re trying. You’re showing up.

Reframing Progress

Progress isn’t linear. Some days you’ll feel invincible, others, like you’ve never stepped on a board before. The same goes for emotional and personal growth. Building confidence means redefining what success looks like. It might mean paddling out when your body says rest. Or choosing to celebrate a small win, like catching a messy inside wave. These micro-moments matter.

What Surf Teaches Us About Self-Belief

Surfing doesn’t care how you look, how old you are, or whether you’ve mastered the perfect popup. It asks for presence, patience, and persistence.

The ocean doesn’t reward ego, it rewards those who come back, again and again. And over time, you begin to trust yourself. Not because you’ve finally ‘arrived,’ but because you’ve proven you can keep going.

Tools to Build Confidence (In & Out of the Water):

• Name the inner critic – Give that voice a name. It makes it easier to separate it from your truth.

• Track small wins – Keep a surf journal or life journal. Write down even the tiniest victories.

• Surround yourself with a safe community – Retreats, surf camps, or even one encouraging surf mate can shift everything.

• Practice rituals – Breathwork, meditation, or simple stretches can help anchor you before facing fear.

• Speak it aloud – Vulnerability is powerful. Naming your self-doubt with someone safe weakens its grip.

You don’t need to be fearless to be confident, you just need to be willing. Confidence is a muscle you build, not a badge you earn. In the water and in life, the work is the same: show up, stay kind to yourself, and keep paddling back out.

With love, Lindsey xx